The Redeeming Power of just Being. No More than a Kind Human Being
To Dana
and
to
Dana, and
with all my love and gratitude
I would begin in a “Forrest Gump”-like manner, by saying that I am not a smart man, but I know what beauty is. And I want to share with you what is beauty really about, from my viewpoint, and what is its real potential.
Of course, a
distinction is necessary to be made at this point. This is not a literary essay and such splendid
words like “beauty” and “beautiful” are not referred to as aesthetic concepts
and categories, but as traits of the human soul, in which sense they are
discussed upon extensively in Plato’s dialogues.
“Beautiful” and “beauty”
are not employed in this context as references to physical traits either, nor
are they meant as an absolute pointer to the gender or the age of my models.
Therefore, “beautiful” means more than “pretty”, that is to say, more than a
physical form, even though one doesn’t necessarily contradicts the other.
Beauty is a
spiritual path, one of many ways of experiencing eternity. Beauty is the way in
which our timeless dimension shines through a physical form or is reflected by
it. So, beautiful, actually, can only be the soul.
Coincidentally or
not, I discovered the most rich “resources” of beauty in two women who are not
my girlfriends, but colleagues and friends, even though, again, in the same way
in which there is no contradiction between being pretty and beautiful, the
same applies, I think, to friends and
lovers. However, in any given
circumstance, I would call a man or a woman, a friend or a lover, “beautiful” –
and only after pointing out that this is just a metaphor – in order to
emphasize the degree in which they are able to act as doorways to transcendence
for more than one people surrounding them and/or their family and close
relatives.
Through their very
presence, they fulfill a mysterious, yet obvious function, at least to those who are able to “see” it: they spontaneously and harmoniously take you to the tiny room
of your heart wherein lies the colossal source of energy of everything that
ever was, is and will be, which is synonymous with the mystery of life. They
spring out simply and naturally, as if of the ground consciousness that is
called “Cit” in the sacred Indian
scriptures called the “Upanishads”.
The 20th
century Indian saint Ramana Maharshi, when addressed to as the “Master”, used to say that a master is whoever is able to teach
you something. It’s quite simple, isn’t it?
My above dedication is not a typo.
There are two actual women with the same name, whose ability at acting and being normal, that is to say, being themselves and conducting themselves in an apparently effortlessly kind and compassionate manner, has seemed to me so striking, when attached to the psychologically challenging background of their jobs and to the equally challenging family responsibilities, that I could not find a better English term to describe their general demeanor, other than “mastery”.
There are two actual women with the same name, whose ability at acting and being normal, that is to say, being themselves and conducting themselves in an apparently effortlessly kind and compassionate manner, has seemed to me so striking, when attached to the psychologically challenging background of their jobs and to the equally challenging family responsibilities, that I could not find a better English term to describe their general demeanor, other than “mastery”.
This is where they
are great performers: they are nice persons while managing to remain experts in
whatever task they fulfill. And they are also long distance runners: they treat with
the same consideration the CEO and the pizza guy, even when a child is sick at
home, a boss is yelling and the sleepless nights start to take their toll, leaving
their marks on the faces. This is not a miracle when considered of as an
infrequent behavior. It is remarkable, though, when I see it constantly and
spontaneously recurring in a mad world and I can see it on a daily basis, no
matter how challenging a given life experience becomes. When they say to you “Good
morning!” you suddenly become aware that this is really not about social
customs, that they are really wishing you a
good morning, a good day and so forth. While opening the mouth and saying “Take
care!” the words are uttered consciously,
so that, whenever I was paying attention, I was very aware that they really care. Of course, it’s not only
about me, as an individual, it’s about a
constant, non-intrusive and non-judgmental care for everybody.
I’ve known them a couple of years and nobody was able to hear them, not even once, raising their voice, even when this surface of reality that we call “our jobs” or “our social functions” in general, would become so deadly serious, that everyone else would lose their temper or even experience a nervous breakdown. Because of the tight deadlines, impossible targets and general negativity of a work situation and whatnot, everybody is allowed to go mad sometimes and, to some extent, anger and resentment are commonplace and therefore easily overlooked in a very dynamic workplace, unless, of course, these sort of destructive emotions go to an extreme. But I’ve had this opportunity and privilege to become colleagues and friends with such human beings who can also feel sadness, joy, disappointment, failure and success, just like everybody else, without poisoning their own mind’s and their friends’ and colleagues’, with frustration, grievance and resentment.
I’ve known them a couple of years and nobody was able to hear them, not even once, raising their voice, even when this surface of reality that we call “our jobs” or “our social functions” in general, would become so deadly serious, that everyone else would lose their temper or even experience a nervous breakdown. Because of the tight deadlines, impossible targets and general negativity of a work situation and whatnot, everybody is allowed to go mad sometimes and, to some extent, anger and resentment are commonplace and therefore easily overlooked in a very dynamic workplace, unless, of course, these sort of destructive emotions go to an extreme. But I’ve had this opportunity and privilege to become colleagues and friends with such human beings who can also feel sadness, joy, disappointment, failure and success, just like everybody else, without poisoning their own mind’s and their friends’ and colleagues’, with frustration, grievance and resentment.
The idea that one
can display a general non-compulsive attitude or even say “no”, when the
situation requires, in a non-reactive manner is not confined to Eastern spiritual
teaching/psychological-based training that have become a cultural fashion
nowadays and a special item on the agenda of any large corporation. A
corporation, of course, is always eager to give a certain balance and
motivation to its corporate slaves for which, ultimately, the system doesn’t care.
But these two women are really beautiful, not just pretty, because they really care and no training can
teach you that; their genuine beauty is,
actually, the radiance of their eternal dimension from within, which is allowed
to express itself as a person. Their simple acts of human kindness can
redeem the human soul, since in their very simplicity and ordinariness resides
the truth and the beauty that will set us free.
In some
individuals, with whom I crossed my paths rarely in my life, this is a natural
gift and they fulfill a real spiritual function in a desacralized world and
provide, knowingly or not, spiritual guidance for their colleagues, bosses,
subordinates, friends and relatives who are able to receive their unspoken
teachings. These blessed individuals are,
in fact, their teachings, in whatever
they pursue. They are real, true and beautiful.
It’s just the way they are.
There are two
persons with the same name who unknowingly have acted for me as spiritual
masters and will fulfill this function for others as long as they live and even
more, even though unrecognized as such. They are both smart and pretty, both
good mothers, good professionals etc. So what? – one might ask. They even bear
the same name. Both of them have two small children, and they take care of
them with a lot of dedication. But, again, nobody can stand out from the crowd with
this – one can add. But this is where
their share their actual, greatest quality: they are really great at being extraordinary
normal, at not standing out from the
crowd and not expecting to be praised
as spiritual guides.
This extraordinary
ordinariness and the ability of finding joy in the act of giving – giving a
smile of encouragement, giving a nice word, giving a tiny deed, giving a piece
of advice – in the midst of one’s daily and mundane activities is the medicine
that our sick civilization needs and the truth that will set us free.
Labels: spirituality